Menopause and me.

My running

This week we had World Menopause Day, so it seemed fitting that this weeks blog I talk about the menopause and how it has affected me. Before I do that, some facts. The word menopause comes from the Greek words “mens” for month and “pausis” for cessation. The menopause can be split into two basic stages, perimenopause and postmenopause. The perimenopause phase is where you suffer from the symptoms of menopause and the levels of your oestrogen begin to decline, but you are still having periods. A woman is defined as postmenopausal once you have not had a period for over 12 months. During these phases it is the symptoms that are related to being menopausal which are the biggest issues for many women. The most common of these are heavy bleeding, hot flushes, night sweats, emotional instability, vaginal dryness and bladder problems. I went to a session recently run by my employer about menopause and what to expect and it was an eye opener. Firstly, not all women suffer, in fact 50% can go through menopause without having any issues. Of the remaining 50% the severity of the symptoms varies considerably. What one woman experiences during this time can be very different to another’s. Therefore, it is important to understand that how I have managed during this time works for me. It may not work for others. It was interesting I did wonder that of the 50% that doe experience issues, are they just not seeking help and battling through.

Having now passed the 12 months without a period phase, what was it like for me? I have experienced most of the common symptoms at one time during my bodies transition. The heavy bleeding I experienced was sometimes terrifying, with the need to have multiple methods of protection and to change very frequently. Every hour at its worse. This is not great depending on your work environment and is often the least talked about. Mainly I think cause we talk about women not having periods, not what happens before that. Thankful this did pass and I moved into the having a period every 3 months stage. Though they could still be quite heavy and always seemed to happen when it was least convenient. Going on holiday was usually the time. 

I have had both hot flushes and night sweats and just when I think it is going to stop it returns with a vengeance. Though I’ll be honest it was never that bad and it didn’t really impact me that significantly. It always passed and I could always get back to sleep. I think it never really happened in an awkward or in opportune moment. The other physical symptom that does give me issues is the bladder problems. Well not even bladder problems, the leaking problems. I find myself leaking even when I am not experiencing sudden movement. Just walking along the road. It is one thing that I really hate. My period knickers have come in handy with this. I am hoping that this gets better.

Little Ted

Emotional instability has been a difficult one. I have found myself getting really angry, over stupid things and becoming irrational towards mainly my husband. Unfortunately he had the brunt of most of my menopausal symptoms as my children had left home. I would become so angry I wanted to cry and hide myself away. The only thing that got me through this was exercising. My chiropractor said to me that because I exercised before menopause and continued throughout this helped me cope with many of the symptoms that I faced. Particularly with my emotional state. Getting outside and burning off calories and anger helped me. I could then cope when things became too much and I learnt to get myself outside. Luckily having Little Ted our dog means I have to get out everyday to walk him. Combine that with when I get out running means I can cope. I am assuming this meant that issues with body shape and gaining weight were also reduced for me due to the amount of exercise that I do. 

I suppose part of this emotional instability comes from the realisation that we are no longer going to be able to have children. Combine that with the fact that for many of us our own children will probably be leaving home at the same time as we are going through menopause it heightens our sense of overwhelming loss. What are we good for if we have no children to look after and can’t have any more? I suppose the answer to this is we are good at being ourselves. We can now live our lives for ourselves and not for our dependants. We can do the things that we couldn’t do because we didn’t have the time. Now you have the time, don’t waste it, live your life for you.

My horses

But what I then discovered is there are loads of symptoms relating to going through menopause. Boots suggest over 40: brain fog,  weight gain, digestive issues, joint and muscle health, skin changes, breast changes, low libido, loss of confidence, to name but a few. I also discovered recently that dizziness/vertigo can be a symptom of menopause. Something that I have suffered from a couple of time. More and more people are talking about menopause and how it is affecting us and that is great and something I want to encourage and promote. Women should be able to talk about these issues without shame or indignation or humiliation. The more we share the more we will all be able to cope and get through together. What is annoying me a little is that some have realised that there is a commercial angle in recommending different remedies and solutions to these symptoms. I am quite sceptical about how everyone now wants to help us long suffering women. I can’t help feel that it is yet another way of getting money out of us by preying on our insecurities and our self-esteem. But I suppose if it works for you then that’s good.

Making my own clothes

Anyway I digress a little. In terms, of treatment I have not gone down the HRT route, though I know many of my friends have and swear by it. At the end of the day it is whatever works for you. I chose to embrace exercise as a way of coping with some of my symptoms. I also try and spend time with myself. Davina McCall recently posted on Instagram about a song she was listening to called “Am I just living” and she realised that this applied to so many women. Are we just living or do we actually have a life. This is our time to live our lives for ourselves. Not for anyone else but for us. Embrace this opportunity that we have been given and take the next step with confidence and purpose. But most importantly seek the help that you need to make this transition in your life. Go to the doctor, seek the support that you need to cope with this time. We shouldn’t have to muddle through this alone, we are all in it together and we can support each other. 

Thanks

Lois

PS The pictures are things that have helped me, my running, my dog, my horses, my hobbies.