Some of you may now be aware that on the 16th January this year I handed in my resignation letter and formally resigned from job as Head of Maths and maths teacher. This was not an easy decision for me, but one that I had been pondering for a while. I wanted here to talk about my reasons for this and other things I have done in my life.
It is one of those great expectations in life to get a job and have a career. One of the first things that most people ask when you meet them is what do you do? Though to be honest depending on the companion they ask hubby what he does and mostly look at me as “the wife” or “mother”. Something I find deeply frustrating. Yes I am a wife, yes I am a mother, but I am also me. So here is a little of my background. Different people will know different bits of this but maybe not all.
I was one of the lucky ones who went to university, despite failing my A levels. I got myself into uni, initially on a HND course, but then onto the degree. Actually did really well at uni, 1st class honours degree, top of my year group and winner of the IBM award for computing (to the annoyance of hubby who actually studied a computing degree). I then went on to do a PhD in applied mathematics, computational fluid dynamics to be precise using parallel computers to model the flow of smoke in an enclosed space to design horizontal ventilation systems. In those days this was cutting edge. I didn’t finish my PhD however. I did all the research and was writing up, but I felt that my supervisor just wanted me to do more and more research and not really finish. Also after 8 years as a student I thought it was time I got a proper job. Above is a rare picture taken with 200 experts in the field and me and my overhead projector.
I did secure a job in the Fire Research Department of the government, but Kenneth Clark at the time was making cuts and they were not sure if there was money for my role. Not wanting to wait around I talked to Chris the CEO of my husbands company who snapped me up. I then worked in the computing industry for the next 6 years working my way up to Global Training Manager. The company floated on the stock exchange and we were fortune enough to do very well out it. At the age of 30 we decided that it was about time we started a family and when I fell pregnant I decided that I did not want to work as I didn’t have to so retired.
After a while I thought that I needed to do more. Hubby was bringing in the money, the girls were at school and I was wondering what I had done with my life. I wanted to make a difference. So after many discussions I decided to train as a teacher of maths. Maths has always been my first love and it was natural to me that that is what I would teach. I took myself of to Exeter University enrolled on a PGCE course and qualified as a maths teacher. I secured my first job as a maths teacher in September 2013. Less than four years later I was fortunate enough to continue my career progression and became Head of maths at my current school in July of 2017.
I and many others assumed that that progression would continue and that I was heading for a headship. But life doesn’t always go how everyone thinks. Many things have happened over the last 7 years that has meant that this was not to be. Firstly, I broke my back, then COVID hit, then the loss of my parents, meant that my focus was elsewhere. All of this brought me to this point at this cross roads. Do I continue doing what I am doing or look for that next step up, or do I take a breath? Reevaluate my life and what I want to get out of it. I realised that I seem to be moving away from what started all of this, teaching maths. That is what I enjoy and that is fundamentally what I want to do. I also don’t want to travel 60 miles a day, get up in the dark, get home in the dark, seemingly work most weekends, spend my holidays worrying about what I am doing when I go back to work, I could go on. I love teaching and I want to spend what will probably be my final years working doing that. I am 55 this year and I don’t want to reach retirement so burnt out and knackered that I can’t enjoy it.
I do wonder if circumstances had been different that I might be at a different point now. But it isn’t and there is no point thinking about what ifs. I know that many people do not have the luxury of doing what I am doing, however I do believe that we all have our own choices to make. I also believe that if things are not making you happy then the only person who can change that is you. There are options and choices out there, it is up to us to be brave enough to make them.
Thanks
Lois
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